The Life of Timothy Cragg – written by himself

I was born at the Chapel House in Wyresdale and was the son of Thomas and Jennet Cragg, on the 2nd day of the 10th month 1658.
My parents were of the protestant religion, and I was educated in the same by the,, my Great Granfather John Cragg came out of some part of Cumberland and was one called a Clerk being one that did the office of a Priest, according as it was practised at that day and time.

My Mother's maiden name was Townson of the Townsons of Morehead who came from Greenbank.

My father died when I was about 9 years of age or something more, my mother married again when I was something past 12. I was, my age considered, desperately bent against her marriage, for he who was her husband was a sort of rough man and one called a Quaker, and that was all a cross to me, but now to look back at my early days I can well remember both before and after my father's decease that my mother was very careful of me and the rest of her children that we should live in the feat of God and that we should not swear or lie nor be wild nor talk idly, and I can well remember that when the great plague was in London, and I heard people tell sorrowful tales of it; I being then somewhat short of 7 years of age, and had some little scholarship, to the best of my memory we had a book called “Crums of Comfort” that had a prayer in it was to be read in the time of pestilence, I suppose so ordered by the Church of England, for it is many a year since I saw the book, I was at that time sore concerned for the people at London so that (as I remember) I read that prayer over many a time.

But O,! as I grew in years I grew in wildness and sometimes when I have gone whistling or singing on my way I have sometimes met with reproof in my bosom, and as I grew older I fell into company with those that spent the first day afternoon in playing at penny prick or shooting with bows and arrows and in the winter evenings with playing at cards, sometimes all or most of the night long, altho' my using such games was more for sport than money, but besure an idle course of life it was and sometimes we met at the alehouse and ranted and sung there, alas! Not thinking of our last end; and tho' I was preserved from swearing, yet in my young days I had ill practice of swearing at things that grieved me; I was wonderfully preserved from having any unlawful doings with any woman, and when I have wondered and admired that I was so preserved clear in that matter considering the temptations and opportunities I had to act in that kind of wickedness, I must say this was altogether a mercy, and I have great cause to be truly thankful to the Lord for the same.

One thing I think not to omit and that is about tobacco, when I was about 22 years of age I began to smoke, I may say I was reproved about it in the sense of my bosom many a time and several years, but it being used by my companions and I had got a custom of it, it was a hard thing to leave it, tho' I met with abundance of exercise about it, at last I would and did give up the using of it extravagantly and used but a little every day sometimes smoking and sometimes chewing, but after a time in a great measure I was forced to give up that too, I ought not to be unthankful that there was so long a day of mercy holden out to me tho' by the way of judgment, for if judgment had not been poured down upon me I believe I had not left that extravagant use of smoking and chewing tobacco, and many other beloved lusts besides that, yet I think tobacco may be lawfully taken as physic.
But to return, about the 26th year of my life I married with Agnes Jackson, daughter of Peter Jackson of Hawthornthwaite (died 1692) her mother's name was Croft of Tonguemore/Tummore in Littledale, and through marriage we have thus far lived a loving life together for which my soul has cause to praise the Lord, though we met with exercise, we having together 11 children, and of several of them my wife was, as we thought likely to lose her life, we had 7 sons and 4 daughters, 2 of these sons were born dead, and one daughter died when about 13 weeks old; my eldest son Thomas lived while he was about 30 years and 3 months old, the rest of them at the writing hereof being through mercy alive.

Family

But to return again and take a view of my life past; when I was about 22 years of age I was put on for a Trainband soldier, or one of the Militia which certainly led to more jollity, joking, drinking and such like idleness, and we met to be trained yearly for some years, and an abundance of idleness there was to be seen and heard tho' through mercy I was preserved from swearing tho' I heard abundance of it.

The same year that I was married King James the 2nd then ruling, him that was called the Duke of Monmouth came into the southern parts of this nation and got a considerable army together, and then was the Militia called up to meet at Lancaster, and I being one must go, for there was at that time no hiring or getting off for me tho' I endeavoured it but in vain, but the thing I most feared at that time came upon me, and that was taking the oaths of allegiance and supremacy as they were then called, for I remember yet, tho' it be many years since, when the greater sort of officers came down to us on the Green Area with the books to swear us, and one of the officers said to this effect, “Now, lads for your oaths”, it struck me to my heart like a dart, O then I was strangely down but was so cowardly that I did not deny to take the oaths nor any man in the whole regiment that I heard of or can remember but one and he was of our company, and yet our hearts were for the Duke, for when new came that he was taken there was but a poor shout, for tho' we were so slavish as to swear yet we could not many of us be so hypocritical as to shout when the poor man was taken and his army routed.
The taking an oath was sometimes by me shunned when I could well do it, it was so against me, but was so slavish as to take an oath, then this about Monmouth being over there passed on about two years when I was put on for a Churchwarden as they are called, and in that year which was 1687 I came to be convinced of many things, and one thing I think here to mention it was this, we had at that time many workmen, both wrights, masons, and some others who were employed in building, they and we were many of us young people and a light airy course of life we led, some telling great stories and others laughing at them.

I was at that time struck in my mind that the course of life we led was not right, and often that year, I being a warden was amongst the Priests and saw so much jarring and quarrelling when they met with one another, and the covetousness of some of them, that it set me against them, nor was I satisfied with the formality in their worship. Sometimes I went to hear the Presbyterians but it was not very often; but to go on, when I should have gone to the Bishop's court to be sworn and take upon me the office above-mentioned, I went not and so was not sworn at going into the office, and when I went out at the year end I denied to to swear in the open court and the registrar threatened me because I would not swear, and there were two priests there, one of them would have persuaded me to have sworn, I told them of that Scripture in Matthew about swearing but one of the Priests said it was spoken about vain swearing but to that I could not agree, I was likewise strangely alarmed about playing at cards, and one night I being at neighbour's house carding (as I remember) for apples and a considerable number of people playing, it happened that the wind rose very terrible and rained extremely, I was struck with this thought, that if the house should be blown down upon our heads what would become of our souls, (or to this effect) so away out of the house I went home and got soundly wet, but (as I remember) never carded more. I was convinced of several things that I was addicted to before I left the Church of England, and I may say I was one that was both to bend and was (as I may word it) driven out by inward judgments for there was a cross to be taken up, and tho' I had a loving wife yet it was a cross to her for me to become a Quaker, and she had then her Father and one Uncle who was dead, who in his time had been a famous preacher, and put forth two books, and for one to become a Quaker was much against my wife's relations.

I began to frequent the meetings of the people called Quakers in the year 1688 for before that year I had been at but few meetings, a little after came the Priest to discourse with me (whose name was James Fenton) and an abundance of discourse we had about swearing, baptising infants, abuses in Bishops' Courts, and such like things, but when he saw he could not prevail on me to bring me back he was ever after very bitter against me.

That year came in the Prince of Orange and I being a Trainband soldier must go, for the Militia was called up to meet at Lancaster; so to the head of the Company I went to which I formerly belonged, but did not put on either the red coat or took with me any arms, and when they called the list over I appeared but was not free to carry arms any longer, and so was freed just there and then, but as I had been baited as I may say with Fenton and some other Priests, so at that time it was my lot to be discoursed with soldiers, for I had been a merry blade amongst them and they were both to part with me, and abundance of discourse I was forced to have both with relations and neighbours, but all these were small matters to me in comparison to the inward exercises which I met with. This is certainly true which I think here to write, that the weights and burdens I have at times met with have been such that when it was evening I could have wished it was morning, and would need to be persuaded many a time that no mans' lot was like mine, nor ever man trod the steps that I trod, alas! I am persuaded disobedience was the cause of these things, for want of giving up my too well beloved lusts, I wish that those who may read these lines may give up freely; things were so with me that I have thought I could have been willing if it were lawful to have desired such a thing, (tho' I had a loving wife and children) to have been in the forest part of China in my working clothes and clogs, so that those burdens and sorrows I lay under might have been removed, and that I might have been freed of these terrors that seemed daily to take hold of me.

And I have often thought I could have been willing to have gone this nation round like a poor pilgrim in want and poverty so I could but have witnessed peace with the Lord.
And sometimes I have thought I could willingly have been racked in pieces or buried alive if I might have been freed of sorrow and my soul saved; many a time in a fine spring when the earth has been comely to look upon and the birds singing melodiously on every side, than have I gone mourning on my way and lamenting my condition and getting into hidden places to pour out my prayers unto my God; and when others went as I had done formerly and passed their time in merriment and gaming, in drinking, quarrelling and idleness, then have I been exercised in mourning and in prayer. When I have taken a view of the animal creatures, I mean the beasts and fowls that are here below, I have thought their condition to be good, for death to them would be the end of sorrow, but O! The creature man if he died out of the favour of the Almighty he was of all creatures most miserable because his soul after the death of his body was to live to all eternity. Yea when here below has been all pleasant and quiet and settled in their places, the birds in the air and the beasts on the field and the trees growing in the woods and the storms have been removed and gone and a summer season come, then has my soul been like the troubled sea, and my condition like the waves of the ocean in a stormy day, one rising and sweeping up after another, and O! I was so brought down at times that there was nothing I could set my eyes upon that would bring any comfort to me, for if I had vast quantities of gold or silver or of the most valuable things upon earth I could have been willing to have given them all so that I might have had peace with the Lord, and that my strength might have been so renewed that I might have served and worshiped him that is worship and adoration worthy forever.

Now that he or she that may read these lines may not be cast down, as I was at times, for I could needs be thinking my condition worse than any mans'; tho' I had such exercises as I have here writ, yet through mercy I had a secret hope that I should be preserved by the power of the Lord, for though there came such showers of sorrow upon me, yet, my cries and breathings were still that I might abhor and detect every vain thought and imagination, and that whatever came to me while in this body that I might not offend my God nor do any unjust action to any of the sons of men, but that I might live a life of righteousness in my day and time; yet I was in and under these judgments brought into such a condition that O had a real love to the sons and daughters of men and hope I shall still enjoy or retain the same mind, for when I have heard of evil deeds or actions done by any of the sons of men let their profession be what it would I was very sorry for them, for O! It was well doing that I travailed for both myself and others, and after a mourning time I did at times meet with brokeness of heart and have been a witness of showers of love to have been showered down upon me and a hope raised in my soul that I may be so assisted that I may continue faithful to the winding up of all, and the time that my natural eyes must be closed, this what I tenderly breathe for; but some may think it strange that I went through so many difficult passages, I shall answer what I believe was a cause, to wit, disobedience to the call and invitation of the blessed truth in my bosom, and it is my desire if these lines (in time) come to be read by any of the sons or daughters of men and especially by those that are young in years, that when they are sensible of the movings of the spirit of truth in their bosoms against their vanities or evil deeds that they join with it against these enormities and evil practices to which the children of men are too much subject, for I believe if I had faithfully given up my well beloved lusts I had never met with half the exercises that I did meet with, and I am further persuaded that if I had not met with exercise in order to bring me out of these things that were contrary to truth, I could not have loved and pitied the sons of men to that degree that I have done and do and desire to do, for though I cannot nor ought I to love a mans bad actions, yet I ought to love and pity the man.

So far as I yet see I may draw to a conclusion this piece of work desiring it may not be torn or consumed but read by those into whose hands it may fall, and it is the sincere travail of my soul that I may be preserved in hope, fidelity, and in true fear, and in a holy awe, while here I may have a day, and the same I wish to other mortal men.

Timothy Cragg